Monogamous, polyamorous, anarchic, and more

For many of us in our society, we have a primary partner, or wish we had a primary partner. An increasing number of us are looking to create a more permeable boundary around our sexual and romantic partnerships. Whether you’re ardently monogamous, passionately polyamorous, or anywhere in between or around, I’ll bet your relationships are important to you. It feels wonderful when things are going well, and soul-crushing when they’re not.

Should I seek Individual or relationship/couples counseling?

If you and your partner(s) wish to work out specific issues or develop cleaner, stronger communication, then it may be to your advantage to pursue counseling together. Read about Couples Counseling to see if that might be a good option.

If your partner(s) are resistant to counseling, then you may be left with individual counseling as a support in navigating a challenging relationship. Or, perhaps, you bring your own set of challenges to your relationships (“your shit” in the parlance of our times) that you would like to work on individually so as to show up as a stronger partner or get out of your own way. This might be the case if you see a clear pattern of your own behavior across several relationships, or you can identify something such as substance abuse or a clear past trauma that needs tending.

My approach to individual therapy for relationship problems

As a client-centered therapist with a cognitive behavioral background, I follow your pace for making change. You are the expert of your life. I’ll use cognitive behavioral tools to help identify distortions in thinking or self-limiting beliefs that keep you in certain patterns in your relationships. We’ll also look at the ways you communicate and identify your key needs as an individual and how these needs drive your actions. Together, we’ll dismantle the structures in your psyche that get in the way of you having the kind of relationship(s) you want in your life and rebuild new structures that support you in creating the kind that allow you to thrive.

• I use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to identify the wounds that unconsciously drive your thoughts, actions, and mood.

• I use Reality Therapy to understand how unmet needs create barriers to the life you want, and to center your ability to choose your life.

• I use Interpersonal Process Theory to offer feedback based on the ways we interact in session so you know how you impact the people in your life.

• I couch all of this in a client-centered approach that honors you as the expert of your life, and leverages the wisdom you already hold.